Hard Conversations Made Easier in 4 Steps
Click to open the PREP planning sheet to help you in your conversations.
The video conference about furloughs. The conversation about child care and work. The memo about your office being closed through the end of the year. You’ve probably gotten or given some tough news in 2020.
How can you have hard conversations in the best possible way?
In the two decades of communication experience at Rhudy & Co., we’ve consulted companies, leaders and managers through some really tough times that required hard conversations. What we’ve learned is that you can have a good hard conversation.
It’s all in the PREP.
Be Prepared.
You should prepare for the conversation as you would plan a project, service or product you are rolling out. It doesn’t matter if the conversation is with one employee or all employees across your team or company. Each person deserves a thoughtful approach, and this planning sheet can lead you through the process.
Identify the main point you need to communicate. Our department is closing and all jobs within our department will dissolve as of the end of the year.
Briefly explain the why. Our department is closing because the company has determined that our product line is not financially viable moving forward.
Think through questions employee(s) may ask you, and how you will respond. Will I get a severance package? Can I get transferred to another job within the company? What will happen to my health insurance?
Think about the location and time of the conversation. Does it maximize privacy, dignity and the ability of the employee(s) to hear the information?
Your goal should be clarity and brevity. No one wants to overstay a hard conversation.
“With every communication explain ‘why’ as often as possible. People will go along with the what when they understand why! You’re going to make a lot of decisions based on the information you have, but your team might not have all that information. That’s why you need to be clear about the why before the what.”
—Craig Groeschel | Pastor, Author, Leadership Podcast
Be Real.
Honesty is essential. Don’t hide the truth or hide from the truth. In our technology-saturated world, news spreads quickly and widely, and your words need to hold up to scrutiny. Keep to the facts and avoid speculation or sharing your own opinions. Our company could have avoided closing our department if they had revised our product offerings a year ago.
Be Empathetic.
Put yourself in your employee’s place and consider how they will feel. Yes, you need to share factually based information, but it needs to be clothed in humanity. Our company has made the difficult decision to close our department and dissolve our jobs as of the end of the year. Our product line is not financially viable moving forward. We regret having to make this decision and know that it is even harder for you and your families.
And with all the recent difficult news in our communities and country, remember that this hard conversation will likely add stress to a person and an environment that is already strained.
Be Present.
Plan to offer time for the employee(s) to process the information you’ve shared. Stay present and allow for reactions and responses. However, avoid future statements if you aren’t sure and don’t answer questions that aren’t asked. Stick to what you prepared. If there is a next step, explain it, so the employee(s) can leave the conversation with an understanding of what’s to come. The HR team will reach out to you this week with more details, and you can contact them anytime with questions or concerns.
“It’s simple but transformative: Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
—Brené Brown | Author, Speaker, Researcher
By taking the steps to PREP, you can leave a hard conversation knowing you gave it your best. No one wants to be in that position, but everyone has the opportunity to do it well.
Nicole van Esselstyn prefers to keep the peace, but understands that sometimes the best way to do that is with direct, clear and kind conversations.